Our Patients Share Their Thoughts
"My first session was a magical dreamy experience. Unbelievably pleasant flight-because yes, it feels just like an amazing flight of exploration.
My second session, right away I was ready to speak of my trauma. An unbelievably pleasant flight occurred in spite of what I was discussing.
My third session, even though I was purposefully in that chair, on that and every flight to deal with unaddressed trauma, I briefly deflected the intent of the work. I learned this is common and why we have more than one Ketamine session. I had a beautifully pleasant flight regardless of not being able to forget my trauma forever like I wanted to.
My fourth flight, I had another fabulous flight of forgotten trauma and new awareness surrounding those events.
My fifth flight I saw the separation between life and death, of light and dark but was not afraid. I realized I had been dismissing my trauma forever which made me feel disconnected from the world around me. I began returning to the world that day.
My sixth flight I was able to unplug my trauma from the core of my being and unburden myself from carrying it around in secret. My experience with Ketamine Infusion opened up so much of my awareness of the distorted world I had created with my inaccurate perception of events that were simply out of my control. I survived the experiences back then and am learning a new way forward with all the new information I gained from an almost sanitized and disconnected curious research-like approach. I am so grateful for my experience and feel such relief for my life ahead. I encourage anyone who is struggling with PTSD, anxiety or depression to consider Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy."
- patient quote
Patient with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
"During my booster session I found myself or rather I felt something other than myself. I completely dissociated. I felt I was a molecule of water in the ocean. I could see other molecules, somehow familiar in feel, surrounding me as we all crowded against each other and repeatedly crashed into huge rocks without injury or worry.
I had a calm understanding that there were some potentially dangerous molecules among the many, many, MANY molecules that made up the crashing waves. But the vastness of the ocean made any encounter with them mere seconds in the course of my life which seemed to represent the entire ocean. I was appreciative of this new perspective and no longer afraid.
I would be fine because the interaction would be brief and I could and then did envision retreating to the vastness of the calm of the ocean away from shore. I was part of something huge and I could disappear in its seemingly infiniteness in anonimity if I chose. All of it was equally witessed-calmly. co
I had a clear understanding that some of the time we crash into rocks, sometimes we have unpleasant encounters; then we roll away from the shore and the rocks and enjoy a calm and a connection to something much more important and larger than ourselves, maybe it is the entirity of our entire lives."
Sought KAP for PTSD
"I decided on KAP (Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy) by trusting in the expert knowledge, opinion, and ability of Dr. Covington. I knew and felt that there had to be deeper layers to my trauma that I had buried (for self-preservation), which I alone could not uncover so that healing and growth could occur.
One of the most profound experiences I had during KAP was one session in which I experienced a 14-hour surgery, where doctors removed heavy tumor burdens from within my liver, small intestines, gallbladder, and lymph nodes. During the session, I was able to process what my body had endured, and my consciousness had retained. This experience granted me a greater understanding of what I (as a whole, mind, body, spirit) had gone through, generating a collective healing for my body and spirit.
The KAP experience has more than met my expectations; it has exceeded them. I tried not to attach any expectation to the experiences I may or may not have during KAP. My only hope was that there may be some healing and growth that would occur. What I have discovered, the KAP has helped me unhook from negative triggers and deprecating self-talk.
I feel more engaged in my own life, not just existing in it, but being an active participant. Empowering me to accomplish goals that I have been self-sabotaging and too intimidated to begin, but I feel that no longer. Several realizations since my KAP have occurred post-therapy, yet one remarkably stands out. Several months prior to my initial sessions, I was starting to spiral into a deep depression, with a feeling that I was nothing, that I had nothing, that I was nothing. That I had earned nothing, I owed everything, even my very life, to someone else. I could not pull myself out of the state for which I found myself in; I didn’t understand because I knew myself better; I realized that I had been in a state of worthlessness for so long that the worthlessness had manifested a life of its own. As I was going through my therapy, my consciousness was healing, yet the worthlessness was fighting to stay alive within me. Even after my last session, I was not sure who would win. Since my KAP, the insidious feelings of worthlessness have gone. During an infusion, I experienced a severing of a lifeless entity from myself. I have not experienced that level of self-deprecation at all post KAP."
-Beth Wilbanks Deblase
Sought KAP for Depression and Anxiety
1) What helped you decide on KAP? "I have been seeking mental health therapy for years. I have felt ups and downs with one-on-one therapy, but things in my life kept keeping me from reaching the full potential of what therapy could offer. I started to feel stuck and stopped moving forward mentally, and my physical health stopped improving. KAP was suggested to me by my therapist. I did the research, and with my therapist’s explanations and clarifications, I decided to start the KAP series.""
2) What was your most profound experience during infusion? "My experiences with KAP varied depending on the dose. Once the right dose was found for me as an individual, KAP started to be an escape. At first, I was present, still in my space and still in my own mind. Old memories flooded my mind causing an emotional response. I thought that was what was in store for me and was my path to healing. As the dose increased, I started to realize what KAP was, at least it was for me. KAP was freedom. I was able to let go and take the journey that was meant for me. I was able to leave my present and leave to a place of vastness and tranquility. My mind was able to rest as I explored a place beyond myself and my depression and trauma. I was able to feel and experience a place without pain or anxiety. I can’t explain where I went in my mind, but if I had to sum it up, it was a place of freedom from my scars, my pain, my anxiety, and frustration.""
3) What was your experience, post-infusion? "My experience over the two weeks was split up into two parts. The first week I felt what was described as a shock to my mind. I was very internal and quiet. My mind and body felt tired, and I ended up sleeping a lot. As the treatments continued and the dose increased, I started to feel less fatigue and started to open up and engage my surroundings more. As I started to reach the end of KAP, I started to get emotionally closer with my wife; I started to notice things that I had missed, such as the smell of my son’s hair, the beauty of the trees and clouds, or the warmth of a friendly conversation. I found myself moved to a different way of thinking, from a negative way to a more positive way. It was a subtle change over the last week of KAP. This was a place I had not visited within myself for a long time, and the feeling left me feeling grateful for the experience.""
4) What did you hope to address during infusion of through the experience of KAP? "I did research on KAP prior to my infusions, but I was not sure what to fully expect from KAP as it really is an individual journey. I was given the basics from my therapist, but I was told to not have expectations and to let go and take the journey and let it take me where I was meant to go. Control, for me, is part of my anxiety condition. It meant a lot to be able to give up control for KAP. I wanted my KAP infusion journey to help me see things differently. I wanted immediate dramatic changes right away, but KAP for me came on gradually. I didn’t get what I would describe as dramatic changes where you can list them out one by one; what I found is that the subtle changes in thinking had a dramatic effect on me overall. It has been more than a month since my KAP treatments, and I am still feeling the positive effects. I am taking fewer anxiety medications. I am less controlling of my environment. I am less scared. I am able to move through the day with more appreciation for my life and what is good in my life. Bad things still happen, but I am able to see it as a moment instead of being my life in general. This is the subtle change that ended up being a dramatic change that I was looking for.""
5) Did your experience exceed your expectations? "My therapist did a good job working with me for months, preparing me for this KAP journey. In my opinion, a person should not just jump into KAP without a solid treatment plan. With the guidance of my therapist, I was surrounded by doctors for my care. I had a Psychiatrist, my General MD, and my Psychologist all working together for my care. I was a patient that was fully ready to get the full benefit of KAP. With this three-doctor approach, I got what I wanted out of KAP. My expectations were not set too high, but they were not set too low either. I think this was important in the overall experience of KAP, to let go of the control of the outcome and let what is meant to happen, happen. KAP was what I needed it to be for me as an individual, and the preparation prior to KAP helped me keep things realistic and therapeutic.
6) What is next for you that may be new as a result of your treatment? Do you think your approach to previous triggers is or will be different? Or do you feel more motivated to accomplish something you have been wanting to do? "I am less scared to experience my life. I have more mental strength to control my triggers and recognize the situations that may cause setbacks. I do feel more motivated, but it has been subtle. I don’t have an overwhelming urge to fix the world; my aspirations are more centered and realistic. KAP kept me within myself and did not set me up for disappointment later. My depression and anxiety kept me from living the fullest life I was meant to live, such as having fulfilling relationships, enjoying the process of my children growing up, but also letting go of the losses I have been hanging on to, keeping me from moving forward. KAP did not do all this for me alone, but it was a catalyst along with extensive therapy that continues to change my way of thinking and experiencing life. 7) Was your experience life-changing? Overall, my experience was life-changing. I had been stuck in my loop of control, sadness, and anxiety for years. I was unable to see the beauty around me and have appreciation and gratitude for the things I do have, but I only focused on the things I do not have. Going through KAP as part of my therapy process helped me “wake up” to more positive things in my life. When I was at my darkest time, I was only focused on my own pain and suffering, and I was in a closed-loop system and was very selfish. Now, after KAP, I am more able to see things a little differently, giving the good in my life the chance to have an impact. I believe this result is life-changing, especially if one can continue the journey started with KAP with a therapist."